Shocked

Kamis lalu, pas gw pulang ke rumah, secara ga sadar ternyata charger
bb gw ketinggalan di kantor. Cari akal tux ngecharge hp itu, akhirnya
gw make lapie dan kabel data..iseng" buka fb n twitter via web..guess
what i've found..Ari is in a relationship..!!

Wooow, i was speachless..that's really fast..mu nangis rasanya..i was
on the phone when i saw the feed..sampe" omongan temen gw itu ga ada
yg gw dengerin..gw blank seketika..omg, how could he..?!

Gw bener" berasa dibohongin..segala ucapan dy ke gw tuh bullshit..!!

"there's only you"
"i wanna get married with you!"
"i love you"
"i don't wanna lose you"
"i love you 24hrs no matter what happen"

Gosh..stupid me trusted all he said..

Kecewa..kecewaaaa bgt..alasan sibuk n ga punya wkt skrg udh ga berlaku
lagi kyny..itu makin ngebuka mata gw lagi, bahwa dy ga bener" sayang
sama gw..

Sekarang gw di bandung, lagi ambil cuti 3 hari nemenin nenex n fam gw
liburan disini..jd keinget dulu wkt dy nyamper gw ke sini..ngobrol
sama nyokap, ketawa" bareng..jalan" bareng..those were beautiful..

Sekarang..smuanya emang cuma boongan..i am shocked, really
shocked..but that's fine, karena dg begini, gw harus bener" ngapus dy
dr kehidupan gw..

"Klo lo ngerasa ga bs hidup tanpa dy, coba dibalik. Bisa ga lo hidup
bareng" dy terus?" - Yumin

Waaaaw, pertanyaan yg skakmat..!! I always imagine having a lil' fam
with him, happy together with our kids..tapi gw ga pernah ngebayangin
hidup dg seorang 'Don Juan', dmn sering dikelilingi wanita, gampang
jatuh cinta n gampang melupakan orang yg sudah diberikan harapan
setinggi langit..

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be
thankful for a good one". - Marjorie Kinnan

It's been twice my Dear God..i have enuf..would you please give me the
last one, to be my last 'stop' of hurt, hope and love? I pray to You..

The Healing

It's been a while..

2 months I didn't update this blog..Too much to be written here, I lost my mood when this page was opened..Am not ready to fill it up with the things I'd like to say..

But am ready now..

*The Break Up

Breakin' up from Ari was a..Heartbreak..A deep heartbreak..I thought he was the one..I was naive..I was stubborn..I was blind..He was just a professional sweet liar ;) I don't hate him, not at all..I admiring him for what he is, for what he achieved..Me, as a friend, really amazed of the things he had made..Me, as an ex, really disappointed of him..But then again, he coloured my day, even for a while..He was my rainbow..Maybe, he's the sweetest and the bitterest..

It's kind a hard for me living in the place where SLR is so easy to find, since it became so popular nowadays..It reminds me of him, it's identic to him..I had a lil' bit trauma to it..I've been in a position, where in a week, I was surounded by Photographers, hundreds of Photographers, three times in a week..Can you imagine being me..? Standing around them, hearing the sound of Shutters, seeing they taking pictures of the objects..It's suffering..I was stand, doing nothing, freezing until my friend pulled me out of there..

A week after the breaking up, I attended Ratih and Andre's wedding..I got the bouquet..!! Ahahahaha, I didn't know what to say, should I happy or sad of it..I was with The Guyz and they're just smile see it. I think they were the same with me, speechless..

Time will heal the pain..


Yes, it is..The more he disappears from me, the more I can forget him. He erased anything about me, Photos, Videos, all gone..He wants to erase me..That's ok..It proved that am too good for him..Well, I notice he had a cruch with a new one and has several close girls..It really shows how easy a word 'Love' is said without any meaning on it..Ouh, a lil bit sorry to all stewardesses and models, I hate you now ;)

Enough about him..He is moving on, I should do the same..

*I do something that I want to..

I did Capoeira..!! Yeeaaay, finally I made it..!! It was like 5 years ago I want to do that. It was fun, finally I met Andrew, the founders of Capoeira in Indonesia..Btw, I lost 4kgs in 4 times of practices..So good for you who want to lose the weight, heuheuheue..

I went to Galleries with Mayang..Oh what a sweet escape..I love ARTs..

I joined CF now, not to lose my weight, but to keep me healthy ;)

*The ex's marriage

Riyan and Nuy are married finally..I am happy for them..They got married in 101010, a special day, huh..Well, I came to the rehearsal with the main purpose to see the bride, since I never met her..Then I saw her..There's nothing I can say here *bbm or ym me for further information, LOL*..No regret at all coming there ;)

*The Promotion

Office is a place where the politic does exist..Nothing I can say here, too tired to think of it, too sick to talk about it..Well, a good friend of mine, which I think one of the greatest SA had resign after several important people did the same..

I got promoted as Head of GCM SA..Happy..? Don't know for sure..I just think it's good for my resume..

*Natural disaster

These couple days is being the hardest day for Indonesia..A Tsunami in Mentawai, an Earchquake in Wasior and a Mount Eruption in Jogyakarta..Many victims there..While they need help to live, our Public Representative (DPR) is going for 'sightseing-having fun-shopping' abroad..What the hell..Oooh I hate politic evenmore..

I hope by the world's help, all of them can be saved and heal from the traumatic..#PrayForIndonesia

*Love life

It's like a desert, huehuheue..I have no chrush with anyone..It's plain..Where everyone is busy planning their marriage, I am busy looking for the right guy..Tragic, mwuahahhaa..

*Plan

I have so much plans in my head..Still looking for the right path, the right time, and a bravery to realize them ;)

***
Am Healing..
;)

TheSingleWoman : “The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us”.
~ It hasn't started on me -yet-, I think..

IhateQuotes : “When the prince of your fairytale turns into the jerk of the story, it's time to grab a pen and change the end”.
~ Am working on it :D

TweetMoveOn : “I'm single not because nobody wants me. It's because the lucky one is still waiting to be chosen by me”.
~ ;)

Year of Tears

Yes, as stated before, this is my Year of Tears..bukan bermaksud cengeng, tapi terlalu banyak kekecewaan..
I've became a dramaqueen lately..
Kebahagiaan yg gw kira akan lasting itu udah ilang even sebelum tengah tahun, di lanjutkan dengan kabar temen deket senasib dan sepenanggungan dari th lalu bakal pergi ke Swiss paling ga tux jangka waktu 2 th, dan lagi" gw ditinggalkan oleh temen" paling deket gw di kantor, ga nanggung", 2 orang resign dan 1 nya menyusul sehabis lebaran..lengkap sudah kesedihan gw th ini..
Tahun ini banyak bgt air mata yg gw keluarin..ya ampun gw jd cengeng, ahahahaa..sejak kapan gw mau nangis"an ky gini coba? Me don't look like me..

Pending post

Thursday, July 22, 2010
Dear God,
I think I’m ok now.. No more tears came from my eyes, even sometimes I feel miserable every time the zip memory comes in mind. 
                                                                                ***
Friday, July 23, 2010
Dear God,
I’m sorry coz I broke up my words yesterday.. I cried hard.. Too many disappointment things for me.. I think this is my Year of Tears.. I feel disappointed not because of him, but because of my trusted friends.. I need to be heard, feel beloved, to be cared.. I need someone who can really stand by me in every possibility at the sad and good things of my life..
Call me egoist.. Maybe I am..
Maybe at this moment I’m counting down every little thing I’ve done as a friend to give the best I have.. Is it wrong to expect the same from someone I expected to..?
Yeah I know there are many ways to show your kindness and care for everyone.. But because of that.. I feel the emptiness.. So this is what an ‘empty’ word stands for..
Dear God,
Please heal me.. I feel miserable at the moment.. Cry is the best thing I can do to feel better now..

Another 'Lost' moment

Quick update from me..
Well, I had really bad time these couple weeks..i fell in love..
Yes, I fell in love with him..that was my first time :)
I thought I had sth real, sth beautiful, sth that I believed, sth..from him..
I’ll say, I loved him..I love him..
Well, it’s time for me to move on, rite? It’s a process I think..
I wished I had the best one, but he’s not..
I believe God will send me the best one for me, amin :)

The fact

http://simplynorule.tumblr.com/

The Distance

I do

I do CARE

but You do CARELESS

NeeZ

...

...Now i know that i'm not the only one...
T_T